Why I hate patterns

Okay, so I finally get interfacing, and it's not interfacing. I don't know what that stuff is, but it is NOT interfacing. All it says on the back is how to make appliques, nothing about interfacing. I ( after I finish this stinking tote) officially give up on patterns. I am going to do everything without patterns, and just let my mom and relatives do some of the patterns for like my birthday or Christmas. Why such the odd decision? Here's why:
( List goes in no particular order)

1. Patterns are SO BIG, and when you try to fold them up they're full of air and so puffy.
2. The instructions are like SO CONFUSING
3. whenever you finish cutting the fabric, it is in such weird and unfold-able shapes
4. They contain useless cutting guides
5. They take FOREVER
6. They require like 100 sheets of interfacing
7. It's all so fragile
8. Patterns are so hard to store
9. They're hard to read to
10. Nothing ever turns out like you thought it would
11. Uses confusing vocabulary
12. one hiccup and the whole thing is ruined
13. When will you ever get time to make the very thing?

And now, for some facts

1. I can easily make a pair of doll pants in like 20 min. But it takes me 2 days to use a sewing pattern to make a doll bag.
2. I have not sewn in like the past week because all I've been doing is trying to cut out pattern pieces and find the right interfacing

and NO, I am not using wonder under as a substitute for interfacing.

After I make this bag, I am officially done using patterns. Why am I still making the bag? ( If It is possible for me to make it) Because, I've already ironed on the interfacing, and started working on it. Already cut the fabric and because if I don't, then I've wasted a lot of time to. 

Overall, I hate patterns. I make batter stuff with my own 2 hands than I do with patterns.